Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Livin' it up at the Hotel California....

I’ve reached this place in my life where I really have to make some big decisions about what to do next.  I just don’t know where to go from here.
I’m not happy with my job. What do you do with that in a time when good jobs are hard to find? I don’t enjoy the work I’m employed to do. I’ve asked my boss for help with this on numerous occasions but there just doesn’t seem to be anything that anyone can do. The job is what it is. You can’t change that. It’s one of the downsides to working in this place; along with the headache of all the bureaucratic nonsense, the resistance to change and the impenetrable red tape one must get through to accomplish anything.
It’s frustrating to be stuck in a job you’re not satisfied with. I often feel like I must surely be employed by “The Hotel California”.  You can check out any time you like but you can never leave….
My next big decision? How do I gently and lovingly push my eldest child out of the nest and into the world without leaving him feeling like he’s been abandoned? It’s as if he finished high school and came to a screeching halt. He won’t budge. It reminds me of watching him play football and seeing other linemen fail to get around him. Once he plants his feet in the ground you can’t budge him and Lord help you if he decides to push back. I love him a bunch and just want him to succeed in life. How is  he gonna do that if he continues to hang on to my apron strings? I keep checking him out but he never leaves....I guess my home is another Hotel  California.
There are really only two things that I’m really happy about these days. The first is my 9 year old. I love that kid. One has to be really hard pressed to find anything to complain about when it comes to him. He is truly the one of the most genuinely sweet people that I’ve ever met. He’s thoughtful, not at all selfish and manages to find ways to please other people without sacrificing himself or allowing himself to be bullied in the process. I’ve said since the first time I looked at that boy that he would be something special one day, that God has big plans for him. I’m so anxious to see that come to fruition.
The second is my marriage. I’m often in awe of how healthy the relationship is. I’ve never in my life had a truly healthy relationship. We are so normal and so compatible. I keep wondering where this stigma that marriage is work came from? There’s no work to our relationship. It just is. Sure, we disagree on occasion but it’s so easily resolved and we always seem to be able to just move on afterward without it ever being mentioned again. And, here’s the kicker…we actually LIKE to spend time together. *chuckles* Wow, I’m awed again at how lucky I am.
I have other big decisions. However, I think they may be TMI for a blog though. I’m working on other stories for you. Please be patient as I work to get the hang of this.

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