Saturday, 5 April 2014

Got things to say and I ain't saying nothin'.....

I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't start a differnt blog-- One that is anonymous, one that allows me to say all the things I can't say on this one, one that I would feel free to use more often.  There are so many stories I have to tell and I don't tell them.

I suppose I could use the quote by Anne Lamott to justify writing what I want here. She says, "You own everything that happened to you. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."

But, I can't help but think that this would just serve to further alienate me from relationships that are already on shaky ground. Kind of like antagonizing an already rabid dog.

So, I just keep to myself how so and so hurt my feelings, or what's his name is an idiot, or such and such is an ass. Just packing it all in piece by piece, all the while concerned that eventually nothing more will fit and will have to explode out of its neatly filed container. Careful, you don't want to get hit by word shrapnel when it happens. I've been told I use words like daggers -- skillfully slashing my way through those around me in an attempt to lay bare those things you don't want anyone to know about you.

I should be ashamed of this, and I suppose in some ways I am --- because sometimes it isn't well thought out and I say things I can't take back. 

and now I'm done... because someone interrupted my train of thought and I've forgotten where I was going with this. Insert random string of expletives here ----> _____________

I seriously need a quiet hidey hole for writing.... with a big 'ole door.....and a big 'ole sign that says "Keep Out!!"