Friday, 28 October 2011
Monday, 24 October 2011
I also thought I'd share this little bit for you in case you were confused. You may have noticed on my Facebook page little things about lilacs, mulberries, amethysts, or LMA. It's a pain rating from The Chronicles of Fibromyalgia page. Lilacs are Low pain. Mulberries are Medium pain, Amethyst is Awful pain, and LMA is Leave Me Alone pain.
I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please. I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun? I took Energy from you, and... gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else
feels normal. Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away, too. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I’m here to stay!
I hear you‘re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I’m rolling on the floor, laughing. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away, told to think positively, poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken as seriously as you feel when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is every day.
Your family, friends and coworkers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I’m a debilitating disease. Some of them will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or “Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago“, not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago.
In closing, (I was hoping that I kept this part a secret), but I guess you already found out...the ONLY place you will get any support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia.
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Sunday, 16 October 2011
She was beautiful. Not just in a conventional way. It was an inner radiance, almost tangible. She was sunshine that warmed you when she smiled. One of those rare humans who was so real that you couldn't help to look harder at yourself to see how you might look in comparison. And, if you didn't measure up, she didn't judge you, she just encouraged you to do better next time.
She was only fifteen, but she carried the wisdom of an old soul as if it were weightless. She responded to mean spirited questions as if they were the most ridiculous things she'd ever heard. It didn't matter if you thought her choices weren't cool. Because they were, without question, absolutely right.
Sometimes I still drive through that little town and find myself detouring to the back corner of that cemetery just to take a moment and let her know that I still remember. I dust off her headstone and wish I'd remembered to bring flowers. I remember the day I saw her mother there. I tell her of all the lessons she taught me. No one knew or practiced love like she did.
Today would have been her birthday. Today I shed a few tears in remembrance.
Today when I still want to be confused and angry that she wasn't allowed to be a blessing to more people I remember....
when I am kind she blesses others.
When I am honest she blesses others.
When I do what's right she blesses others.
When I strive to be what I knew her to be, I keep her alive.
These are the truest ways to honor her memory and it's something done by all of us fortunate enough to have called her friend.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
So you may notice I deleted my last post. I had a moment. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.
Honestly, I didn't delete it for anyone else's benefit. I just had some time to think on it and I'm honest enough to say I was being immature. I don't believe any friend I was referring to read the post and I'm glad for that.
Just know this: if you have a friend who is hurting or sick, don't stop calling just to say hi. Sick friends don't expect you to know what to say. They don't expect you to placate them. They just want to know you still care.
Sometimes, just the fact that someone took the time to acknowledge them is the best medicine.
Friday, 7 October 2011
It's almost more trouble than it's worth to type out this little post this morning. I woke up today with pain and numbness in my hands and arms and it won't go away. With the assistance of my blogger app, I'm posting from my phone this morning- - somehow from a supine position in the confines of my bed, while my little Lola sleeps at my side.
Only another person with a pain disorder wouldn't feel shocked at the number of hours a person like myself could sleep and lie in bed. Sure, I try a little yoga when I can. I try to walk when I can. But, despite doing everything the doctor says is necessary for fibromyalgia I still get no relief and continue to get worse.
I wonder then, how "they" can insist this is fibromyalgia. Wouldn't it be reasonable to think that if it were I would get relief by following the doctor's advice and taking meds as prescribed?
I find myself discouraged and angry more often than not. It would be so easy to just give up and quit.
I miss my friends. I miss being able to get up and go whenever I want. I miss Friday night football. I miss my little blog. I'm tired of being stuck at home waiting for a good day.
Friday, 9 September 2011
Monday, 29 August 2011
Saturday, 27 August 2011
Friday, 26 August 2011
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Monday, 15 August 2011
They won't upload. I've tried everything but the laptop isn't recognizing the device.
I love all things from the 20's to the 40's. I would have an entire house designed and furnished from this time period if I could.
I wanted to show you a picture of the gorgeous antique vanity with the original matching bench. The matching bench with the beautiful fabric colored seat. The gorgeous vanity that I found for an unheard of low price and they allowed me to layaway.
I wanted to show you pictures of the fantastic little antique collectors food tins I found in perfect condition. They were only a dollar or two a piece and will look too cute on top of my upper cabinets. I found one each for Morton Salt, Nabisco Shredded Wheat, one for graham crackers, and one for brown sugar. These were finds that are usually ten dollars and up, depending on what brands they are.
I wanted to show you the five skeins of designer yarn that I got for the whopping price of TWO DOLLARS!
But my favorite find? You'll think I'm silly. It was a 1976 Better Homes and Gardens cookbook that mom bought for me to tide me over until the day I inherit her 1970 Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. It's in perfect condition and contains many of the recipes that are in hers. I already checked.
Insert stupid grin here --> :-D
It was that cookbook, with it's lovely red and white checked cover, that gave my mom the basic guideline for perfect spaghetti and meatballs and phenomenal lasagna. It was that cookbook that gave me the base to finally perfect a cornbread recipe. As a teenager I used that cookbook to make cookies, homemade custard and pudding, chocolate cake from scratch, all the things cookbooks don't tell you anymore now that there are mixes for everything. That cookbook was as much a part of my childhood as Golden Dream Barbie, Mrs. Beasley, and Candy Land.
I went home and spent over an hour reading over each and every page, caressing each one like a woman possessed, ready to fly into the kitchen and make something stupendous, all the while keeping my lips tightly sealed lest I drool on the pages and ruin them.
I am happy. My world is complete.
Monday, 8 August 2011
But, I'm sure I'll milk them again. Because I really don't hate them. They just hurt my feelings for a minute.
Friday, 5 August 2011
Any genius' out there who can help me out? Because I'm so not a genius today.
Does "Julkaise Teksti" mean "Post"?