Thursday, 7 July 2011

It’s just bad parenting….

I try.
Really, I try.
Yet, for the life of me, I simply cannot understand what motivates some people.
They’re everywhere; children who are products of parents who are not together anymore, children who are being raised by spiteful and hate filled mothers who use every opportunity to fill their children with the same hatred they harbor towards their former partners.
Ok, so maybe I shouldn't say mothers here. But, they're the biggest offenders. In all fairness though, there are crappy dads out there who do the same thing.
Why would you tell your child anything, true or not, negative about the other parent? Do you honestly subscribe to the belief that the person you’re hurting is the former partner?
If so, you’re dumber than I thought. The only person you’re hurting is your child. Think about it. You spew your filth at your child about what a crappy father they have, you lie about it when confronted, and then you tell your child not to tell the other parent what you’ve spewed at them. You do that, and then you expect me to believe that you aren’t trying to hurt your child? If the child is the only one to know what you’ve said, who else could it have been said to hurt?
You fill your children with hate and then wonder why they’re angry.
You fill your children with hate and then wonder why they don’t respect you.
You fill your children with hate and give them to society to deal with when the monster becomes bigger than you.
You fill your children with hate and then you attach a label and medicate them unnecessarily
You do all of this and then you expect the rest of us to feel sorry for you when it blows up in your face.
And the monster grows when your verbal wall begins to crumble around you….
You spew more hate, thinking maybe you didn’t do enough damage already….
Then you scream that you’re the better parent….
Shame on you.
You don’t deserve them.
There is absolutely no good reason for one parent to bash the other in the presence of their child.
If you think I’m talking to you, then I probably am.
And, what makes me feel like I can point fingers here? Because J has one of the crappiest bio-dads on the planet. He abandoned him twice. He even terminated his rights because he didn't want to pay child support. But, never, ever, never have I intentionally bashed his sperm donor in front of him. After everything he's done, I still tell Jack that jerkface loves him but he just has some problems in his life he needs to take care of that keep him from being the kind of dad J wants him to be.
Can you imagine the consequences if I were to tell him the truth? That his biodad doesn't want to be a dad to him, but he is still a dad to his siblings? What kind of mother would I be if I hurt him like that?
Think about it moms (and dads). Who are you really trying to hurt? What damage are you really doing? Are you really prepared to deal with the fallout? Do you think it's fair that you force your children to fight your battles with your former spouse? Really?
Get real with yourselves....


  1. Oh if only I could hug you.. if only more people thought like you... if only...

  2. You were one of the people on my mind as i wrote this. I love you girl.

  3. I think the old "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule shoudl ALWAYS apply in the case of divorced parents!