I hate women...

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

What is wrong with teenage girls these days?

No, forget that. It’s not just teenage girls. It’s women in general.

As a whole, the lot of you makes me want to puke. I think this is why my group of female friends is so darn small. I can’t stand the frickin’ drama you ladies create. Ladies…hmph….how’s that for using a term loosely?

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty." — Marilyn Monroe

In all fairness, I guess I should fill my readers in on what inspired this particular rant.

It was Jr’s girlfriend. He went to church with her last night and he was no sooner in the door and the girl calls him, squalling like a baby, because she’s afraid he’s going to decide he likes that other girl more and dump her.

Where the heck did that crap come from? It’s the kind of stuff that makes me want to regress and say something stupid like, “Dude! Seriously?”  Or “WTF?”I hate it when my kids call me dude and use chat and text speak outside of chat and text. That’s another rant for another day though.

"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" — Marilyn Monroe

It’s this kind of stuff that makes me wonder what it is that we’re doing to our generations of daughters that they need someone else’s opinion to reassure them that they’re a worthwhile person. How does whether or not you’re in a relationship define who you are? Are you really that much in need of some daddy attention that you’re content to let a man determine your value? Are you really that inept at self evaluation that you can’t determine what makes you a valuable asset to a man?

You know, I ain’t the prettiest girl out there. I’m definitely not the skinniest…Hell, I got more curves than Daytona and Talledega combined, and not all them curves are in the right places. And, my husband? Well, he’s frickin’ hot, if you ask me.

See? Tell me this ain’t purty….

 Something about that mixture of American Indian and Portuguese makes a beautiful combination.

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them." — Marilyn Monroe

You know what? It doesn’t worry me one bit that he rates higher than me on the hotness scale, and I’ll tell you why.

It’s because I know, without any uncertainty, what makes me a valuable asset to a spouse. I know that he’s going to love me because I’m all the things I am.

Notice here I didn’t say, “All the things he needs me to be.” That doesn’t work folks. When you run around trying to be what you think someone wants you to be, eventually you’re gonna get tired and you’re gonna resent that person for expecting things that you can’t deliver.

He loves me because I am nothing more than what I am.

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." — Marilyn Monroe

He loves me because  --

I’m independent.

I’m honest.

I’m loyal.

I stand by him, even when I think he’s wrong.

I’m a team player.

I don’t need to be rescued.

His children are my children too.

I know when to lead and when to follow.

I don’t judge him.

I know that sexy and appealing isn’t how you look, but what you believe yourself to be.

I respect him.

I don’t take him for granted. I always let him know he’s appreciated.

I inspire him rather than try and change him.

I exude confidence, even though some might think I shouldn’t.

It’s that stuff right there girls that makes him want you. Do you honestly think that you’re going to be appealing to him because you’re calling him every five minutes and whining silly phrases like:

You don’t love me enough.

Are you sure you want to be with me?

Is she prettier than me?

Why do you love me?

I must not be good enough for you.

Whoever coined that phrase about repeating something often enough makes you believe it was spot on.

You want a guy to think that you’re worthless and not good enough for him? Then, by all means, keep up with your insecure damsel in distress act, and eventually he’ll start to believe it too.

I don’t care how you try to color it, needy, whiny, dependent and insecure doesn’t equal cute. It equals desperate and pathetic. It makes you look like a loser.

If you’re a teenage girl reading this, grow up and get over it. Figure out who you are and find someone who will take you “as is”.

If you’re an adult female and you’re reading this and you’re still acting this way…see teenage girl advice above and stop being emotionally and socially crippled.

If you’re a parent raising daughters PLEASE for the sake of my four boys, and all remaining teens unfortunate enough to have been born male, teach those girls their value. Because, if your daughter calls my son and talks the kind of crap we heard last night, I might find I can’t restrain myself any longer and I’m going to take the phone and tell her what I think. And thank you Lord, for not giving me girls that I’ll have to console after that kind of tongue lashing!