Saturday 26 March 2011

How you know you're from Arkansas...

I’ve cracked a few jokes about Arkansas this week, so I thought it would be appropriate to pose the following question to my fellow Arkansans on Facebook, and then post their responses.


--for my fellow AR friends, comment on this post with a statement that answers the question, "How do you know you're from AR?" I'll use your statements, and a few of my own, for my blog post tomorrow. :)

Here are their responses:

From Jana:

You know when you’re from AR when you know of, or have eaten, Poke Salad.

Have any of you non-Arkansas folks ever had this little bit of southern goodness? Poke is a leafy green plant that grows wild. It’s not salad, as in Hidden Valley and croutons; it’s cooked down like you would collard or turnip greens. We just choose to call it salad. It’s a southern thing. Don’t ask.

Also, from Jana:
When you can step outside and get soaking wet when it’s not raining!! Really, you need to be donning scuba gear before you step outside because the humidity is sooo thick you can actually see the water hanging in the air!!
Arkansas summers are crazy. Seriously, 100% humidity! Sometimes the air is so thick you can hardly breathe. We actually pray in August that it DOESN’T rain! Rain in August only makes it hotter. You can see the steam rising off the pavement. No kidding!!
Two from Jenifer:
 You know you are from Arkansas when you’ve had to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day!!
Ain’t that the truth! I’ve done that three times already this week. It’ll be forty five degrees in the morning and eighty degrees at lunch. Craziest darn thing I’ve ever seen.
You know you are from Arkansas if you have ever driven home with a lawn mower tied to the top of your car to get the grass cut...
Ok, so I’ve never done this. Well, not exactly anyway. I have had a lawnmower in the backseat of my car and in my trunk. I have also driven a not so close neighbor’s riding mower down the road to my house.
From Cindy:
When you have to tie a rock to the leg of small children to keep the mosquitoes from carrying them off.
Hee hee, she said mosquitos. She must not be from AR. Round here everyone knows they’re skeeters.And them bugs that look like giant skeeters? Thems skeeter hawks. You don’t kill those. They eat skeeters.
Brianna:
I car pool with this chick every day. She has some of the best one liners and she only utters them when I’m driving, so I can’t write them down. Course, the morning trip she drives, and I’ve often question the safety of that. She’s a little slow in the morning. Really Bri…you should have coffee before you leave the house. Just sayin’.
You know you're from Arkansas when "Bubba" is your uncle, brother, cousin, and neighbor all at once.
Yep. There’s so many Bubbas around here I think they should all be assigned a number. Bubba 1, Bubba 2, Bubba 3, Bubba 1,657,984….  There are also grown men called Biscuit and Twinkie. It’s just odd….
All this inspired the following conversation.
From my momma:
if your front porch falls in and more than 3 dogs die.
I think I actually know people this has happened to.
From me:
If a fellow Arkansan is elected president and they choose to commemorate the event with a library that looks like a mobile home!
Thanks Bill
If the headline of your personal ad says, "Must have teeth"
To which my momma said:
must have teeth and must brush them!
This was actually one of my dating pre-requisites. Followed by must have at least one car that runs and must have job.
From Regina:
You know you're from Arkansas when you see a man wear overalls to church and you just grin b/c it's your father-in-law.
Arkansas has a large number of men whose entire wardrobe actually consists of 4 pair of overalls, 1 pair of Carhardt coveralls, one pair of cowboy boots, a pair of work boots, six flannel shirts and a camouflage ball cap.
Then, my sister in law chimed in. You have to forgive her, she’s from Texas and can’t follow the rules. That conversation proceeded as follows:
Amanda:
WOW!!!!!!! im so glad im from TEXAS.
Me:
Have mercy! Don't get me started on TEXAS!!
Amanda:
Ok now there is nothing wrong with Texas. Dont get me wrong i love it here and wouldnt move back for a million dollars
Mom:
Ya know why Oklahoma is so windy??? Cuz Kansas blows and Texas sucks!
Lol That shut the sister in law up. Sorry Amanda, you know I love you.
Kathleen:
You know you're from Arkansas if you know what "Toad Suck" means.
Andrew:
You know you’re from Arkansas when your cousins are also your stepsisters (true story by the way my step-mom was once my aunt and her and my uncle had a few kids together)
Really darlin’, you shouldn’t advertise this. But, if it makes you feel any better I have cousins whose sister is also their Aunt which makes some of their cousins also their nieces and nephews. Kinda bizarre and hard to explain. But that’s them…

2 comments:

  1. I am absolutely certain if all the southerners checked their ancestry, we would all somehow be related.

    I haven't had poke salad in YEARS. Do you guys stop by the side of the road and pick yours or do you actually BUY it? lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lord, honey, they don't sell that stuff in stores! If you don't cook it right, it'll poison you! (Which, of course, makes it all the more appealing... Don't ask me why!) We always had ours scrambled up w/ eggs... Yummy!

    And, yes, I know I need coffee in the morning. I'll make an effort to start using the timer thing... :-/

    ReplyDelete