My Inner Circle

Believe it or not, in spite of overflowing with angst, sarcasm and overall weirdness, I have friends. They are those chosen few who  have remained loyal, stood by me even when I was wrong, helped me pick up the pieces when everything fell apart and let me know when I was being a total jerk face.

The funny thing, and often commented upon, is that my inner circle of friends, with one exception, do not know each other. Each friend has a unique purpose, a unique meaning for me and each with equal importance in my life.

You see, I’ve often been called a chameleon. It’s a trait I believe I acquired from my mother. Put me anywhere and I’ll find a way to blend.

So, this blog is going to be to tell you a little about each of my inner circle friends. An introduction, if you will. I’ll work chronologically. I can’t see another way to do it. As I stated previously, they are each equally important to me for different reasons.

Let’s start with Sara:

We’ve been friends for just over 30 years. We’ve seen each other grow up, we’ve curled up in a bed and cried together – even as adults, we’ve lamented over breakups and crushed on the same little boys, I held her when her mother died and we’ve shared secrets that we’d never tell another soul.

Sara is my freedom to feel like a child when I need to. She’s cheese dip and sweet tea when we feel the need to soothe our hurts with a snack. She’s a childhood story to laugh about when the world looks glum. She has been my conscience and I have been hers.

This is Sheryl:

She makes me smile. She’s my freedom to say and do whatever I please and not worry about being judged. She gives me peace when I’m angry and consoles me when I’m broken. She feels sorry for me and comes and cuts my grass when I’m pregnant and unable to.  She’s my defender, and my will not to allow people to walk all over me. She encourages me to be strong when I feel weak. She’s my hiding place when I need to get away from the world. She’s my super hero and I don’t know how I’d get by without her.

This is Stephanie:

She’s my newest friend. I’ve known her just a little over a year. She encourages me to try new things and presents the opportunities for me to try those things. She nurtures my creativity. She offers heartfelt compassion and realistic advice when it’s needed. She makes me laugh. She lets me feel free to let my hair down and have fun like a teenager and alternately, dress up and act like a lady. She accepts me wholeheartedly for everything I am – and everything I’m not.

This is my mom:

Now, I imagine you’re wondering why I put her last if I’m doing this chronologically. I guess it’s because my mom and I were a little slow figuring this one out. For a long time I was just way too dependent on her for the relationship to ever develop into what it was intended to be. We struggled a little to find proper footing now that I’m not so dependent. But, I think we’re there.

She is coffee and girl talk on Saturday mornings. She is my advisor when I don’t know what to do. She advocates for my children when it’s needed. She’s the memory keeper. She’s my constant -- the one thing I know I can count on at any given moment of any day. She lets me talk when I want to and keep my mouth shut when I don’t. She is the one who helps me put everything into perspective and move forward.

She’s the one who knows all my friends. She’s the one who can see exactly what I love about each of them and love them for what they are to me. She’s my other chameleon – the one who can be anything needed at any time. The one who I’m most like.