Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Somebody Has To Say It Part II

Internet Pet Peeves –

There are so many little “net thingie habits” that really annoy me. Some amount to common courtesy; others amount to common sense. As I am certainly your most knowledgeable and ever-willing to help friend, *pats self on back* I’m going to give you a little “net-ucation”. Accordingly, I expect all of you “offenders” to know who you are and thereby proceed to correct your annoying behaviors.

In no particular order:

1.       Using all caps – Those of us from the era of chat sites that were frequently used in the late nineties (Jo, I know you’re following me here) recall how rude it was to use all caps in chat and other postings. I still don’t understand why people do this. Are you too lazy to hit the shift key for capital letters at the beginning of a sentence?

It’s chat. Formality is out the window and so are caps. Besides, your use of all caps has two downfalls. First, all caps make your post difficult to read. Second, it’s considered yelling. The use of all caps is intended for emphasis. 

The result? When you use all caps I’m most likely not reading anything you have to say. Sorry…

Well, not really THAT sorry. See? That was correct usage of caps. I was emphasizing “that” because I’m REALLY not that sorry.

2.       Not using short paragraphs in long posts – I don’t think you realize how difficult it is to follow someone who writes long superfluous paragraphs. It demonstrates a disorganized thought process and makes it appear as though you are rambling. It also causes the reader to lose their place often because it all runs together. I don’t read these either. They make my head hurt after a few lines and I give up.

3.       Those stupid alarm status updates and emails—Good grief! Facebook is not going away! HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF SNOPES???  Yeah! I’m yelling!

4.       Complaining about what other people post in their status updates by ranting in your own status update.  You know what? It’s their page. Let them post. If you don’t want to hear about the game updates or the play by play of their day then ignore it and move on.  You know, kind of like I tend to do to yours when you rant like that.

5.       Do not post the intimate details of your relationship woes for me to read. It’s none of my business. I don’t need to know that your husband is a jerk face and you can’t stand him and I don’t want to learn about it on facebook. If we’re close enough for you to discuss it with me at all we should be discussing it in person.

Besides, the ugly truth is, when you’re using your status to openly bash your current partner or air your other dramatic dirty laundry, the only thing you’re accomplishing is to make yourself look like a jerkface who just graduated from middle school.

Besides, if Jane Doe slept with Joe Blow and contracted herpes, that’s between Jane, Joe and Dr. Schmoe.

There you go, you just made yourself a jack-wagon. Are you proud of yourself?

If you need lessons on how to bash someone without being an in-your-face jack-wagon, hit me up, text it, send me your digits. I’ll teach you to sing, Yo.

That’s just a start. I know I have more but I forgot to write them down. When I’m not seeing it I forget that it annoys me. I would like to keep it this way.  We can just start with this initial list though. I fully expect to have no way of remembering that these things annoy me other than the fact that they are posted here on this blog for me to read at a later date.

Your cooperation is deeply appreciated.

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