Monday, 23 May 2011
A guest post by Princess Lola McFluffy
My name is Princess Lola McFluffy. But, you can call me “Her most amazing, cute, and smart Highness, Princess Lola McFluffy”.
You WISH you were as cute as I am. But, you’re not, and you can’t be. Please don’t hurt yourself trying.
Honestly, my name should be Queen Lola McFluffy, but I let Mommy have the Queen moniker. It makes her feel better about herself. When Mommy feels good about herself it makes her pamper me a little extra. But, (whispers) don’t tell her that. We don’t want to hurt her feelings.
There’s another dog that lives in our house. She’s Daddy’s dog. No one calls her “queen” or “princess” of anything though. In fact, Mommy and I call Sky an old hag. This is Sky.
She’s alright, I guess. She’s old and grumpy though, and not NEAR as cute as I am. And, since I don’t roll on dead animals, Mommy lets me on the bed and tells Sky to go away because she stinks.
REALLY Sky should try a little harder to impress Mommy. She isn’t really that bright, so it’s not much trouble to impress her.
For instance, when Mommy wasn’t looking, I decided to play in some of her extra special and extra expensive yarn. I picked a really good one so she would be extra impressed. I knit myself a sweater, see?
At first, I wasn’t sure Mommy WAS impressed. She made a REALLY scary face and she screamed. But then, she decided it was so funny that she had to show the neighbors how amazing I am.
Really, how many princess dogs do YOU know that can knit a sweater?
Hmph, that’s what I thought.
After that, Mommy put me down in the neighbor’s yard so I could play with their Great Pyrenees puppy. Her name is Yaffa. Mommy doesn’t have a picture of her though. I REALLY should teach Yaffa how to pose for the camera.
Have you ever SEEN a Great Pyrenees puppy? This crazy dog is only 3 months old and she’s already the size of a beagle. Without a second thought to how gorgeous my silky white fur is, or the fact that I only weigh 2 ½ pounds, do you know what that crazy dog did? She pushed me down in the mud!
And Mommy, well, she had the nerve to laugh. I thought, “Well, I’ll show her not to laugh at me.” Then, I rolled, and rolled, and rolled in the mud.
Just between you and me, it was SO much fun! I think though, if Mommy knew I thought that she would never let me down in the yard again. So, let’s just keep that one quiet so I can store it in my arsenal for later use.
But, I’m so cute that even covered in mud I was STILL the cutest dog ever! See? This is right before Mommy gave me a bath.
It’s all in the eyes you know. See how I did that? Those sad little black orbs – hold them just right, give a little quiver and a whine, and you’ll have Mommy in the palm of your paw.
Hmm, I see it’s almost time for my pedicure. I believe I heard Mommy say she was going to use pink polish to match my bow. I’ve almost got her talked into buying me this gorgeous sundress I spotted at the doggie boutique. But every time we mention it Daddy rolls his eyes and says it’s ridiculous to spend $9.99 on a dress for a dog.
I’ll have to groom his beard again tonight and remind him of how cute and deserving The Princess is.