Tuesday, 16 November 2010
First things first; I love my dad. My dad loves me. It’s as simple as that.
Where am I headed here? I feel like since a couple of posts ago I basically blasted my father, I should take an opportunity to let you know where things stand now. I should also let you know that it was in no way my intent to “blast” anyone.
That excerpt actually came from a book I had started writing. Memoirs I suppose. The title was “The Men in My Life”. The purpose was a journey of self exploration. I needed to understand what made me who I was, what directed the choices I made and what things led my behavior patterns.
My dad and I had a rough start. At some point though, we were able to talk it out. Sometimes I even feel bad because I feel like he’s still bending over backwards to try and make up for the rough start. I’ve tried to convince him that everything is ok now but, I think he’s still dealing with regrets.
As it turns out, we ended up becoming very close. I can tell my dad anything and I never have to worry that he will somehow think less of me, or judge me, or even chastise me. Once in a while I get the proverbial, “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Or, “Have you thought about trying ___?”But, that’s about it. Mostly he just listens.
I probably don’t talk to him enough. Scratch that. I don’t talk to him enough. Once or twice a month just doesn’t seem to cut it. *sigh* Ok, I’m gonna work on that.
I really need to see him. I feel bad that he hasn’t met my husband. I worry about him a lot. I don’t think his health is that great and I know he’s sitting up there alone in Missouri and doesn’t get out much. *sigh* I’m gonna work on that too.
He’s being the best dad he can be and I now feel like I’m not being the best daughter I can be. *sigh* I’m gonna work on that.
But the bottom line is – I love my dad. My dad loves me. It’s as simple as that.