You want WHAT for Christmas???

It’s almost that time of year. It’s almost time for Christmas. One more month and I will be sitting in the floor next to the Christmas tree after wrapping gifts and thinking to myself that I spent too much money. Then, I will promise myself that it won’t happen that way next year, even though I know it will. I will eat half the cookie left on the plate for Santa, drink the little bit of eggnog in the glass, crumple the napkin and then climb into bed exhausted.

But, for now, I am busy compiling my mental list of what to get for whom. I’m trying to keep myself motivated to knit and crochet those few projects that I want to give away. I’m looking at my husband like he’s completely lost his mind.

“What do you want for Christmas?” I ask. I was in bed. I was exhausted. I wanted to be asleep and he wanted to talk. Asking him what he wanted for Christmas was what I thought would shut him up. I figured he’d need time to think on it.

“Night vision goggles,” he says.

“WHAT?!?” I ask, opening one eye to stare at him. “Why in the world would you want night vision goggles? What are you going to do with them?”

“But, they’re cool. I NEED them!” he says.

“You NEED them? For what?” I ask while rolling my eyes. “You don’t hunt and when it’s dark you’re sleeping.”

“But, do you know all the cool stuff I could do if I had night vision goggles?” he says while jumping into a ninja like pose. “I can see you in the dark!”

“Whatever. Go away.” I say. I’m trying really hard not to laugh and at the same time just a little annoyed because I want to be sleeping. I close that one eye.

“No, seriously.” He says. “Do you know how happy I would be if I had night vision goggles? I wouldn’t need anything else if I had those.”

“You don’t NEEEEED night vision goggles. I’m getting you a GPS. Now, go away.”

“But…”

“Shut up.”

“But…”

“Go away.”

“OK, fine. I WAAAANT night vision goggles. I really, really, really want them.” He says. “If you got me those I would be so happy.”

I open that one eye to look at him again. Then, he does it. He really does it. He begins to do the Carlton dance while singing, “I’ve got night vision goggles. I’ve got night vision goggles. Oh yeah! Oh yeah!”

“Good grief! I’m not buying night vision goggles. Go away!” I say while stifling a giggle.

He sighed and walked around to his side of the bed and climbed in. “Night vision goggles are so cool.”

“Sshh.”

“They…”

“Sshh.”

“But..”

“Stop it.”

“But…”

“Shut up.”

“NightvisiongogglesarecoolandIwantthem.” He says quickly and in one breath.

“OK, fine.”

I have no intention of buying night vision goggles.